Monday, December 29, 2008

My visit with Bella and Blake

Peanut and I went to visit Bella and Blake this morning. I was a bit worried that they may have forgotten about me since I haven't seen them since the end of June. I could barely get in the door and take my coat off before Blake wanted me to pick him up. Bella was her normal reserved self but I could tell she was glad to see me...she's matured alot in the past 6 months. After a little bit, Blake looked at his mom and asked, "When are you leaving!?" He stayed glued to my side almost the whole time. After a couple of hours, Peanut got fussy (ready for a nap) so I started telling them I'd have to leave soon. Blake then asked, "Why!? I want to go too!!" So his mom and I explained to him that I needed to go to my house and that Peanut needed a nap. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted me to stay or him to come with me. When I was about to walk out of the door I had to give him several hugs and kisses. The last one I was actually out the door. He grabbed hold of me and I had to actually pry his hand off my coat. It broke my heart but it also made me feel so good. He did NOT forget me. The visit was great but it made me miss them even more. Why do kids have to grow up!? I'd love to go back and be their nanny again. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that they'll be 4 in March!!

Oh! Their mom told them that I had another baby in my belly... That started a whole string of questions from Blake..."Why?" "How'd it get there" "Did she eat it!?" "How does it fit" "How big is it" and he was still going when it was time for me to leave.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Early Christmas gift for Richard

Richard finally got to feel Maddy kick. :D We sat around for a little bit this morning watching my belly move as Maddy was kicking and moving around. I absolutely love this! We didn't get as much of this with Sean because the placenta was up front muffling everything.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

24 week check up

I had my 24 week appointment today.

I'm measuring right on, Maddy has a good heart rate (mid-high 150s) and I actually gained weight this past month (5.5 lbs).

I go back on Jan. 9th. I was given the glucose test drink today for next month...yuck! I am not looking forward to that! lol

Friday, November 14, 2008

It’s a....

I had my ultrasound today and it's a...


Mother's instinct called it again!

Monday, November 3, 2008

12 month check up

Sean had his 12 month check up this afternoon. He is 16 lbs 4 oz and 29 1/4 in tall. He didn't gain much in weight again but he shot up on height (50th percentile!). I do think that their scale may be off alittle. Last time our scale said the same as their's but this time our scale will say between 17-18 lbs. Oh well, the doctor's still not worried about his weight so neither am I...what can I say, he's a VERY active boy. He also had to have his finger pricked today. They tested his iron level and tested for lead...both came out great! He then got 4 shots...that's my least favorite part of the check up. But once again, alittle time nursing and he was fine. We go back in February for his 15 month check up.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

One year ago...

It is now almost midnight, Halloween year ago I had just started going into labor with Sean.

It is about year ago there was no doubt I was in labor...I had only been at the hospital for a little while though. year ago Sean was born.

Where did the time go!?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

16 week check up

I had my 16 week check up with my midwife and everything checked out great. When my midwife checked for a heartbeat with the doppler she said "no wonder you've been feeling your baby already! She's all over the place." We heard the wonderful sound of a strong heartbeat (150) but it never lasted too long. My midwife had to keep moving the doppler to find the baby again. I go back on November 13th for my 20 week ultrasound.

Another update is that I've recently found a doula. I'll be honest, when I was pregnant with Sean I couldn't imagine hiring someone to be there for the birth of my child. However, now I know what a help someone who really understands birth(that it's not an emergency but a normal event) and knows how to help make the pain more manageable can be. She'll also help me figure out the best (safest) thing to do if something comes up during labor. Also, even just knowing her for a couple of weeks she's no longer a stranger that's going to be in the room with me but a friend. We see eye to eye on so much and I really feel comfortable with her. I also have about 5 more months to continue to get to know her before my baby gets here. I can't wait for this baby's birth because I just know it's going to be much better.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Healthy Baby Isn’t All That Matters

A Healthy Baby Isn't All That Matters
By Christy Fiscer
Midwifery Today Issue 87

There are so many details of my cesarean that I have either left unwritten, or have written in fragments in various locations. A reply back to an online thread regarding the "safety" of a cesarean; or to a mom who is being told that her baby will be too big and she needs to have her baby surgically removed.

But you see, my story doesn't just end when we brought our son home from the hospital on Palm Sunday in 2004. My journey began when I found out I was pregnant in 2003, and it continues every day. Some days I wish it would all just be over with. Be done with the deeply seeded emotional pain, be done with the physical pain of ongoing adhesions and endometriosis from my cesarean - even 4 years later. The ongoing torture of the emotional pain could have been avoided, I suppose. However, in 2005 I made the decision to take the red pill. And for those of you who paid attention during the movie The Matrix, you'll get my analogy here. The red pill enables us to see truths that we otherwise would have never believed. The red pill takes us out of the "habit" beliefs - simply believing what we are told or what we were raised to believe. On the other hand, the blue pill enables us to live in the "ignorance is bliss" state. Never digging deeper, simply being happy with the things we believe and never questioning the origin or the author. So, in 2005 I made the choice to swallow the red pill. The reality that had been mine in childbirth, was shattered as I learned more. And as I gained more knowledge, my guilt and anger grew over what I had done to my son; and also pain for the vast number of women who do the same to their children unknowingly.

Just before my son turned one, I found the ICAN support list. To this day I don't remember exactly how I found it, but I did. I was still of the mindset and belief that some babies simply grow too big for mom to deliver safely, inductions are perfectly acceptable, and epidurals should be used by every woman. I joined the support list, totally oblivious to what I was walking into. Women who were totally angry over their cesareans, marriages compromised due to lack of support or differences in birth beliefs between a woman and her spouse. Women having their babies at home, after having undergone a cesarean with a prior pregnancy. Basically, a group of crazy women. Or so I thought at the time. I defiantly challenged their arguments that claimed it was intervention, not size, that caused my very difficult first birth and recovery. The harder I fought it, the more information and resources they flung my way. After a few days of this, I sent out a post calling them all crazy, and then unsubscribed. Six little words posted by a woman who is known for pulling out a wet fish when needed, haunted me and really made me think. "Damn. She took the blue pill." The nerve! Crazy, fanatic, rude women! Who were they to tell me that my cesarean was unnecessary and avoidable? But it planted a seed…

I began to research all of the things that they had challenged me with. Little by little, that seed began to sprout. Three months later I returned to the list, apologized for calling them all crazy , and asked for help.

So why am I telling you about ICAN and my beginnings with it if I am not writing this about my VBAC? Well, because without ICAN I would have continued to believe that my babies were just too big for my body. I would have continued to believe that there is nothing wrong with cesareans. The day that I re-subscribed to the ICAN list, is the day that I chose the red pill. I no longer wanted to live in ignorance, because after all…ignorance is what led to my son spending 9 days in the NICU.

Ironically, it was my son's 2nd birthday that hit me the hardest. On his 1st birthday, I was still learning, and not quite convinced yet that the cesarean wasn't necessary. But by that 2nd birthday, not only did I know from research that it had been unnecessary, just five months earlier I had pushed out my VBAC baby onto my bed. She was 10.10lbs and posterior. By body had never been broken - I was only told that it was. As I began to really process through this, I realized just how alone and misunderstood I was outside of the ICAN list.

"He's healthy now, that's all that matters."

From my friends, my mom, and even my husband. No one knew how damaging those words were, even though they were not meant to harm. I didn't understand. How is him being relatively healthy now, negate all of the harm that was done to him in his first seconds, minutes, hours, and days of his life? When a woman is trying to heal from a rape trauma, do people essentially tell her to get over it…at least she's safe now? But people are almost offended when the two are compared. Cesareans take place every single day and are accepted - even CHOSEN. So then, would it be different if many women didn't mind their rape experience? What would happen as a society if we as women told rape survivors, that their experience was acceptable, because women are raped all the time? How damaging and belittling would this be? Cesareans are major abdominal surgeries. And so many women are lied to, coerced, and convinced to have one. Many occur because of a cascade of intervention during labor that never belonged there to begin with. As a society, we have strayed so far from what birth is - a normal, physiological process. We've turned it into an ugly, scary, medical procedure. No wonder so many women are scared of it. All they hear is horror stories. You have to dig for the beautiful and unhindered birth stories that ARE out there. They are just not as common as the "You'll be begging for the epidural…" stories. I'm afraid that until women take a stand for their babies, that our daughters are going to have to figure this out for themselves.

So, back to my cesarean.

The story is quite simple. I was young, I had delivered a larger-than-average baby vaginally 2 ½ years prior. The recovery from that birth was long and hard, and I had always been told that it was because she was 9.1lbs. Not the pitocin, AROM, stadol, or the forced pushing that ended up in a large episiotomy and vacuum extraction. I was terrified of another birth and recovery like this. I met with a new OB late in pregnancy, because my former OB refused to induce me even though my son was showing to be over 8 ½ lbs already, and I did NOT want to go through the hell that I went through with my first. Yes, I warned you…I was completely ignorant. This new OB agreed with me about size, and went on to tell my husband and I stories of large babies and shoulder dystocia, nerve damage, and broken collar bones. He said our best plan of action was a cesarean, and soon, since my son was only putting on weight at this point. We agreed, even though my husband and I both discussed later how we had a slight uneasy feeling about all of this, but shrugged it off as uneasiness over the unknown. The very next morning I went in for an ultrasound and NST. During the NST it was discovered that I was contracting quite regularly. Upon a vaginal exam, I was told that I was 4cm dilated, and would be having the cesarean that afternoon, instead of the next morning. I was nervous, but the thought of finally meeting my son was what I kept focusing on.

A lab technician came in and drew several viles of blood. Then a nurse came in to start my IV, administer Terbutaline to stop my contractions, and to insert a catheter. My mind was in a whirl as I was being prepped for surgery, and trying to get a hold of my husband to get back to the hospital. He had dropped me off, thinking that I was just going in for routine pre-surgery stuff. He arrived, as did my grandmother in law and my mom. My husband was told that he could not go into the OR with me, until my spinal block was in place, and they were ready for the surgery. I was terrified, and I had to leave the one person that I trusted most in this world, behind. The one thing I asked before walking in was that they cover the instruments. I didn't want to see what they were going to use on my body. They found this a bit strange, as they said that they have never had a patient request this before. Surely I couldn't have been the only one afraid of being cut open, could I?

The nurse walked me into the OR. I remember how cold it was. It was like walking into a sterile vortex. Bright lights, blue paper sheets everywhere, trays, oxygen devices, and nurses in full face masks and scrubs. It was surreal. I sat down on the operating table, trying to brace for the spinal. I was absolutely terrified beyond my wits that the spinal would not work, and I would feel them cutting into my body. I began to cry as the anesthesiologist prepped my back for the insertion of the catheter, and a nurse stood in front of me in efforts to console me. She made eye contact and told me that everything would be okay. I just cried. I don't remember a whole lot of the tiny details from here. I remember seeing my husband's face come into view above me when he entered the room, and felt him touch my hand. I remember my Obstetrician "joking" about how we'd better get the show on the road if he was going to make it to his office in time for furniture to be delivered that evening. I remember slowly falling asleep from the drug cocktail that was placed in my IV, and desperately trying to stay awake. Then, it hit me. The smell of my flesh burning as my OB cauterized at each step. I tried hard to tell myself that it was the oxygen mask on my face. I was smelling the oxygen. I am only smelling the oxygen.

My OB announced that the baby would be here in just a few moments, and that I would feel lots of pressure as the nurses pushed on my fundus to get baby out. I said that it felt like she was sitting on my chest, and they joked and said she was. I heard a suctioning sound as they announced that his head was out. I felt the tugging sensation release when his full body was pulled from mine. I waited to hear him cry. Waiting, waiting…and nothing. I kept asking what was going on, and received no answers. I turned to the side to see people in blue working vigorously on him. I was falling asleep. Then, I finally heard him cry, and let go a little bit. They bundled him up, and put him to my face to kiss quickly, and while he was in front of me, he once again stopped breathing. I have pictures of us in this moment, and he was so very grey. As soon as I had kissed his cheek, they pulled him from me, placing him into an Isolette and whisking him off to the NICU. I fell asleep as I was being sewn back up, and wheeled to recovery.

Then, a moment in time that I will never forget. The neonatologist visited my husband and myself in the recovery room, and stated that my son had experienced two seizures. They needed to find out why. I was asked to sign a consent form for a spinal tap. You're probably thinking that it's unforgettable because I learned that he had experienced two seizures, right? Well, it's unforgettable because I remember thinking that it was no big deal. I was so drugged up, so out of it, that it never even occurred to me to feel worry about my son. To even ask if he was okay. I signed the consent form, and fell back asleep. Later on that afternoon, as I was moved to my post partum room, I remember asking about him and not understanding that he needed to stay in the NICU. I was on the phone telling a friend that he had arrived, and then told her that he was in the NICU being checked out and would be in my room with me later that day. No one told me otherwise. No one told me much of anything, come to think of it. I continued falling asleep off and on throughout the day, sometimes even while my poor husband was mid-sentence. It wasn't until he went home that night and I sobered up a bit, that I asked about my son. They said he was having some breathing difficulties and that I could see him in the morning. I was again confused, but again didn't worry much because no one was seeming to make a big deal out of it. I requested a pump to help my milk come in, so that I would be ready the next day. I pumped every 3 hours that night.

The next morning my husband arrived, and I had already had my catheter removed and had the nurses help me up to the bathroom. We prepared to go to the NICU to see our son…for the first time since the surgery. No one did or could have prepared me for what I was going to walk in on. I was under the impression that he had mild breathing issues, and just needed observation. What I walked into was a mother's worst fears. He was in his own little room, because he needed around the clock observation. When I entered the room, I couldn't believe what I saw. He was in an open isolette, sedated, horribly swollen, and hooked to many lines and machines. He wasn't moving. I began to cry as over and over in my head I kept repeating "This isn't my son. This can't be my son, they've made a mistake. This isn't my son." This fragile and broken baby couldn't possibly be the one who was too big and healthy for me to deliver vaginally. He was swollen…he didn't look like me or my husband! That couldn't possibly be our son. I could not hold him, so I touched him and cried quietly. I stayed for a while until I couldn't stand anymore. My belly was hurting, as was my back and the rest of my body. As my husband and I went back to my room alone, I just cried. He remained strong and just held me and told me that everything would be okay. I wasn't so sure. After all, they had told me that my son would be big and healthy.

One of the hardest parts of the hospital stay was being the only mom on the floor who was without their baby in their room. I listened as babies cried in the next room, and then were promptly consoled by their mother's touch. By nursing at the breast. By their mother's soothing voice. My baby was in another place. He was in darkness induced by drugs. He was listening to the sound of the machine's beeping, and by the sound of the nurse writing notes in his chart. My arms felt so empty, and I felt so helpless.

Two days after he was delivered, as my husband and I prepared to see him again, we were stopped by a NICU nurse. She explained that they were intubating Noah, and to please wait in the family waiting room for the neonatologist. I was confused, worried, frantic, and crushed. He had been doing just fine on the CPAP. I was so afraid that he wasn't going to make it. The neonatologist came in after 15 minutes or so of agony, and explained that Noah had taken a turn that morning, and the CPAP was no longer as efficient as it needed to be. We asked questions, mainly why was this happening. He was the biggest baby in the NICU, by far, and was full term. He explained that this is a common side effect of babies delivered by cesarean. Why hadn't our Obstetrician told us this while he was telling us all of the myriad risks of delivering a large baby vaginally? Why hadn't we been told? He couldn't answer those questions for us. We were allowed to go in and see our son a while later, and all I could do was cry. I couldn't even talk to him, because it made things worse for me. I just stood and stared as I held his tiny little limp hand. There was no reaction, no ability to grasp my finger. Emptiness.

The very next day, we had been told that they took the intubation tubing out overnight. The neonatologist said that he had never heard an intubated newborn scream so loudly, and that Noah had tried pulling at it. They sedated him once again and pulled the tubes out. He was now on a nasal cannula. I still was not allowed to hold him, and it was killing my heart because I was scheduled to be discharged that afternoon. I had continued to pump around the clock to leave colostrums for them to administer through his g-tube. It was heartbreaking having to leave him there under the care of strangers, and head home with empty arms. Beginning at four days post surgery, I was driving myself back and forth to the hospital to visit Noah. Finally, on day four I was allowed to hold him for the very first time. I remember the gut wrenching feeling of placing him back in the isolette because my guts and back were hurting from the surgery. I had waited so long to hold him in my arms, and I then failed to be able to do it for long. I was told that the next day his g-tube would be removed if all was well, and he could begin feeding by mouth. I left explicit instructions for them not to feed him by bottle, that I would be there to breastfeed him. Thankfully, they respected my wishes, and I was able to breastfeed him for his first feeding. The poor baby was choked by my rush of breastmilk, as my milk had already come in. It was awkward to try and breastfeed when my belly was so tender, and he had tubes everywhere. I returned 3 times a day to feed him. I would often call the NICU in the middle of the night during pumping, just to see how he was doing.

It was finally on day 9, Palm Sunday, that we were able to take our son home. During his NICU stay, they had not figured out what had caused his seizures. They did a CT Scan, an ultrasound of his brain, X-rays, blood tests, the spinal tap, and an EEG. They found nothing abnormal. Once he was through with his round of antibiotics and did well on room air, he was cleared to come home. I was nervous, excited, anxious, and scared all at the same time. I had never cared for a sick newborn before. Yes, he was fine when we took him home…but I had images flashing in my mind of the baby that I walked in on the day after the surgery. These images still haunt me.

I know that I will carry guilt with me for the rest of my life. I have taken responsibility for my role in his delivery and his NICU stay, even though it was all done out of ignorance. I firmly believe if my son had been perfectly healthy after the cesarean, that I never would have learned my lesson. Sometimes we have to learn things the hard way, and sometimes God has a reason and a purpose for what He allows us to endure. Had I not found the ICAN support list, I'm sure I wouldn't be who I am today, and be so passionate about birth today.

So you see, a healthy baby is not all that matters. A healthy mom matters too. A healthy birth matters. Just because a baby is healthy after a delivery, does not make everything that happened during the delivery any better or safer or healthier. And this doesn't just apply to cesareans.

Oh…for those of you who are wondering…my son only weighed 8.8lbs.

This is my story. My journey. Today is the 4th anniversary of when I was told that my body was incapable of safely delivering my son. And tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of my c-section. Happy Birthday precious Noah. Even though this was written with tears, in a whole host of bittersweet emotions.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

The best feeling

I felt it! I felt the best feeling in the world! I'm laying in bed almost asleep and I feel this feeling very low in my belly. Could it be the baby? I don't think too much of it because I'm just about to fall asleep. Then after we're all up for the morning I'm sitting on the couch reading...I feel it again! And again! This time I know the feeling. It's the baby rolling over inside me!! Oh what a wonderful feeling!!

Friday, September 19, 2008

12 week check up

I had my first appointment with my midwife today and found out that we are having another stubborn baby. She tried to use the doppler to find the heartbeat and heard nothing so she went to get the ultrasound machine. Sure enough, baby is fine, strong heartbeat but laying too low to be heard on the doppler. Peanut did the same thing the first time we tried to hear him on the doppler. The good thing about it is I got another print out.

Last week we went to the tour of the midwifery center. I am so excited. Finally someone who understands that pregnancy and birth are normal and doesn't require medical intervention. The rooms are wonderful...queen size bed, jacuzzi tub to labor and birth in, birthing balls and stools, fridge/freezer. I will not have an IV stuck in me and will not have continuous monitoring (contractions and baby's heartbeat). I'll be able to get up and walk around, get in the tub, shower..whatever feels best. I will eat and drink as I feel necessary. They will not give me pitocin or any medication to speed up labor or pain...usually makes for more problems anyways. They will not break my will break when its ready and they will not induce until 42 weeks. They will let my pregnancy and labor run its course like it should...without intervention. Unlike an OB, my midwife won't show up just to catch the baby. She will be with me the whole time for support. Just knowing that I've finally found someone who gets it makes me so excited and happy.

Monday, September 8, 2008

10 Months

I normally don't post monthly updates on Sean but he has learned so much in the last month I want to brag on him. He's finally switched from 3 naps to 2 a day..and he sleeps an hours or two later in the morning now. He took his first steps back in July but barely did any walking. In the past week or two he's really taken off with it and been practicing like crazy. He can now walk across the room by himself. I love his little wobbly walk and the look of pride on his face.

His second tooth has came through and he's really taken an interest in solids...eats a lot now. No one can eat around him without him begging for some. He LOVES pasta, yogurt, meats, veggies...well just about anything. lol The funny thing is he hates spoons unless you're giving him yogurt or a bite of ice cream (he doesn't get much) but has no problem with the fork. His favorite by far are fingers though.

He's really trying to communicate. If he can't say something he'll point at it and grunt. He says dada but not mama yet. When DH gets home he'll look out the window and say " a da a dad" but any other time it's "dada". One morning Richard kept hitting the snooze button so Sean woke up, rolled over, started hitting DH saying "dada dada dada". He loves Annabelle and Precious (really loves to tackle them) so it didn't surprise me when he tried to say dog and cat. Dog is dog without the "g" at the end and cat is "kiki". At Busch Gardens we watched to wolves and the whole time he was pointing at them saying "dog dog". It was too cute! His favorite word is "uh oh". He says it whenever he drops or throws something or he falls down. The other day at my parents house he pointed at my dad and said "Gamp". He hasn't said it again but I have a feeling Granddad may be Gamp. When he claps he'll say "ayyyyy!!" for yay. He just started saying his newest word the last couple days. When he wants to nurse he'll say "M" but he drags the two sounds out so it sounds like "eemmm".

I think that's all the new things lately. It's amazing how much he's changed lately. Most of this has been in the last couple weeks...some in the last couple days. Every day he continues to amaze me.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Newest video of Sean

Sean LOVES The Wiggles so tonight we were watching them online. Here's the video I took of him.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Growth Charts

I have heard many times that breastfed babies grow differently than formula fed babies. There are 2 growth charts; one for every baby and one for breastfed babies. I was told that breastfed babies don't follow the first chart very well but most doctors use it anyways. At Sean's last doctors appointment I was told he had fallen off the curve but they weren't concerned. I looked at his chart and they were using the CDC chart (the first chart). It got me thinking and today I finally sat down and charted Sean's growth on both charts. The difference is amazing. I'll be bringing both charts to Sean's next appointment and talk to his doctor about it.

This is the info I charted (age/weight):
Birth- 6 lbs 7 oz
2 months 2 days- 10 lbs 6 oz
4 months 14 days- 13 lbs 4 oz
6 months 21 days- 14 lbs 15 oz
9 months 5 days- 15 lbs 13 oz

Here's the CDC chart, doctors use this one and it's for both formula fed and breastfed babies. Sean fell off the curve on this one.


Here's the WHO's (World Health Organization) chart for breastfed boys. Notice how he's still on the curve.


Monday, August 11, 2008

Some of yall guessed it...

I'm pregnant again!! I'm due April 1st. I'm hoping for a girl but another boy wouldn't be bad either. I haven't been to the doctor yet. I'm actually going to be going to a new doctor as I was not happy with my last OB/GYN at the end of my pregnancy with Sean. I'm pretty stoked about this new OB too. I probably will only see her week..and then I will see midwives. One of the main reasons I chose this OB is that she works with the midwives at the midwifery center at DePaul Hospital which is where I will be delivering this time. I'm so excited about that. I was worried our insurance wouldn't pay for a midwifery birth center birth but they will since technically the OB is my doctor.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

9 Months

Sean had his 9 month well baby check up today. Our little peanut is 15 lbs 13 oz and 26 in long. His growth has slowed down but the doctor said that that's very common in babies that are becoming mobile...and he's not only crawling but walking too. He should start gaining faster in a few months. They said he seemed very healthy and very advanced...I already knew that. lol We'll be going back right after his first birthday and if his weight levels off they may consider checking his thyroid...but they really don't think there will be a problem because most children with a thyroid problem have their weight level off earlier on .. they told me he was perfectly healthy they gave him 2 shots. He does better than me! Though I did have to hold his arms and legs down this time. He immediately nursed and was ok. He fell asleep in the car (about 9:45) and is still asleep.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Breaking news!

Break through news that is! lol Sean's first tooth finally broke through today!! ...maybe that's why he had a hard time sleeping last night and woke up at 4:00 am!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Step by step

Today Sean took his first steps!! It was only a few but he did it!! It won't be long before he's running!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Uh Oh!

Uh Oh! He's on the move! Yep, Sean learned to crawl we spent this evening baby proofing.


For the past week Sean has been using the potty sometimes. No, I'm not potty training him...I'm just listening to his cues and doing something about it. I've noticed there are times I know he's about to pee or poo and I started thinking.."why not put him on the potty and save a diaper". Well, it worked. He now stays in a dry diaper for hours. He even will get fussy right before he has to go and if I get him to the potty in time he goes in the potty not his diaper. Sometimes I swear he holds it for a little while hoping for me to put him on the potty. He wakes up from naps dry so I put him on the potty as soon as he gets up and he goes! Same thing with right after he nurses. The other times it's almost a guessing game but I'm learning his cues. It's very exciting and he seems happier when he goes in the potty because he's not wet...which he HATES being wet!!!

Pee peeing in his new potty...he looks so proud!

He even pee peed on a tree while camping with the boy scouts

Monday, June 2, 2008

I’m so proud

Tonight Sean went from laying to sitting for the first time. He then promptly pulled up on the couch. lol He sat up by himself a few more times. He looked so proud and excited each time. He also pulled up and walked down his toy box over to his exersaucer and stood there playing with the toys on the exersaucer for awhile. God help me, this boy is going to be walking in now time!

Friday, May 23, 2008

VERY Important Car Seat Info

For your child's safety please read this and watch the videos.

We all know the laws about children and car seats…rear facing until 1 year and 20 lbs, and in some kind of car seat or boaster seat until the age of 8. However, that is only the minimum! There are reasons to keep your child facing backwards until they reach the weight limit of the seat and then stay in a 5-point harness until they reach the weight limit of that seat. There are some seats that go up to 80 lbs but you must read the label. You may see that the seat goes up to 100 lbs but that is not with the 5-point harness. The 2 seats that go up to 80 lbs are: the Radian80 ( ) and the Britax Regent ( ).

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

6 month checkup

Sean had his 6 month well baby checkup today. He is doing wonderfully. Just recently he has begun somewhat crawling...I guess it's more creeping but he gets on his hands, knees and head and moves forward. He can't sit still anymore! lol His favorite thing now is pulling up on people or things...especially the bumbo seat. He is now 14 lbs 15 oz and 25 3/4 in long...yep still our little peanut but absolutely perfect. The doctor said that he can start on actual solid foods...little bits of meat (fish is best...healthier and softer), bits of green beans, puffs, teething biscuits, ect.. I've already been letting him chew on apple slices and gumming pieces of banana and he prefers to feed himself. He also got 4 shots and an oral vaccine so I'm off to try to make him feel better.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Why God Made Mothers

Why God Made Mothers

By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one"?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time , have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and do these things only with two hands."

the angel was impressed" just two hands..impossible""

"And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.

"This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she's sick AND she can work 18 hours a day

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything; for mothers are truly amazing!"
but there is only one thing wrong with her
she forgets what she is worth...

~by Erma Bombeck~

Friday, May 9, 2008

A Baby’s Point of View

I'm thinking as I lay here between you, Mom and Dad That the experts say you're spoiling me and it makes me kind of sad. But I hope you keep on listening only to your heart 'Cause raising me's no science, rather it's an art. And I haven't read the books you see, so theories don't mean much If in the dark I can't hear Dad and feel my Mommy's touch. They say I need a schedule to tell me when to eat, That you should keep my person tidy, clean, and neat. But keep the bibs for later 'cause I think I must confess That sometimes when I'm eating peas I like to make a mess. And I haven't read the books you see, so theories don't mean much When I'm hungry and it's one o'clock but two o'clock is lunch. I know they say you're crazy 'cause I'm always in my pack Riding high in front of you or sometimes on your back. But I have met and seen the world with such a better view Than many babies ever have, all because of you. And I haven't read the books you see, so theories don't mean much If I'm in my fancy stroller, but I can't see a bunch. Now where you're really going wrong is that I'm in your bed 'Cause in our country that's not done; you're spoiling me, it's said. They say to put me down the hall and let me "cry it out" And that teaching me to be alone is what it's all about. But I haven't read the books you see, so theories don't mean much If, reaching out when I'm afraid, there's no one there to clutch. For it isn't all that long you know, until I'm on my own And from the fabric you provide, my life's quilt will be sewn. So will it matter when I'm thirty that I nursed for thirty months? That I slept securely in your bed or used my stroller once? 'Cause I haven't read the books you see, so theories don't mean much If in the dark I can't hear Dad and feel my Mommy's touch.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

6 months

My little peanut is 6 months old today. It doesn't seem like it's been half a year already! He has recently started pulling up on people that sit next to him. I can easily see him becoming mobile real soon. He's a wonderful baby...happy most of the time. He amazes me everyday and I can't imagine my life without him.

What makes this a big milestone is the fact that 6 months is a big milestone for him to be still breastfeeding. According to the CDC in 2004 (that's the newest data they have) about 73% of mothers started out breastfeeding. By 6 months, that number drops to about 41%. I absolutely love breastfeeding Sean. Not only is it the best thing for him, there's also benefits for me, emotionally and health wise. I could go on and on about the health benefits for Sean and I but I won't. Emotionally, it's a self esteem boost. I am so proud that I've stuck with it. He has not had formula since he came home from the hospital (he only had it there when I couldn't be there) and he's only had a handful of bottles. He hates bottles...only straight from the tap for him! I'm proud that my body has nourished him since birth...he has not needed anything else and will not need anything else for another 6 months (he will have solids but he doesn't need them yet)'s amazing that the female body can do this! I love when he gazes into my eyes as he eats...and then gives me a huge smile while milk goes everywhere. lol And this is only the least 1 1/2 years to go. I can't wait to see what that brings!

One of the first times he nursed:


Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Moving on

Last week Sean mastered the ability to sit on his own. ...Now he’s moving on to figure out how to crawl!!

He didn’t get anywhere then but today he did. When he started his knees were at the edge of the blanket. This is where he ended up:


Friday, March 14, 2008

4 month check up

Sean had his 4 month well baby check up today...though he’s 4 1/2 months now. Everything went great! He’s now 13 lbs 4 oz and 24 in long. The doctor said, "Has he rolled to one side yet?" I said, "He rolls both ways" She gave me a surprised look. The she asked, "If you hold him above your lap, will he put weight on his legs?" I said, "He can stand by himself holding onto something." She gave me another surprised look. lol She says he has very strong back muscles and predicts he’ll be sitting by himself between 5-6 months. She loved his cloth diapers. She loved the froggy diaper cover and was impressed by the snappy...she cloth diapered her kids and they weren’t out when she had them. We talked about starting solids. As I already know, there’s no rush to start them anytime soon but I was asking her about making my own baby food. She also did that for her kids and she gave me a few tips. She said there’s no reason to start with cereal, veggies or fruit first. I can start with either. She said it doesn’t make a difference and that people just try to make it harder than it has to be. lol There’s isn’t even reason for him to have rice cereal...he can have oatmeal or no kind of cereal at all. I’m thinking about starting him on bananas first. Then he got his shots... He cried much more this time but it only lasted until I fed him. Then he was smiling and cooing at everyone and was sound asleep as soon as I got him in the car. Well...2 more months till we have to do this again...

Friday, March 7, 2008

If you breastfeed for a day

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, he will have received your colostrum, or early milk. By providing antibodies and the food his brand-new body expects, nursing gives your baby his first - and easiest - "immunization" and helps get his digestive system going smoothly. Breastfeeding is how your baby expects to start, and helps your own body recover from the birth. Given how very much your baby stands to gain, and how little you stand to lose, it just makes good sense to breastfeed for at least a day or two, even if you plan to bottle-feed after that.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR FOUR TO SIX WEEKS, you will have eased him through the most critical part of his infancy. Newborns who are not breastfed are much more likely to get sick or be hospitalized, and have many more digestive problems than breastfed babies. After 4 to 6 weeks, you'll probably have worked through any early nursing concerns, too. Make a serious goal of nursing for a month, call La Leche League or a certified lactation consultant if you have any questions, and you'll be in a better position to decide whether continued breastfeeding is for you.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 3 OR 4 MONTHS, her digestive system will have matured a great deal, and she will be much better able to tolerate the foreign substances in commercial formulas. If there is a family history of allergies, though, you will greatly reduce her risk by waiting a few more months before adding anything at all to her diet of breastmilk. And giving nothing but your milk for the first four months gives strong protection against ear infections for a whole year.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 6 MONTHS without adding any other food or drink, she will be much less likely to suffer an allergic reaction to formula or other foods later on; the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until about 6 months to offer solid foods. Nursing for at least 6 months helps ensure better health throughout your baby's first year of life, reduces your little one's risk of ear infections and childhood cancers, and reduces your own risk of breast cancer. And exclusive, frequent breastfeeding during the first 6 months, if your periods have not returned, provides 98% effective contraception.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 9 MONTHS, you will have seen him through the fastest and most important brain and body development of his life on the food that was designed for him - your milk. Nursing for at least this long will help ensure better performance all through his school years. Weaning may be fairly easy at this age... but then, so is nursing! If you want to avoid weaning this early, be sure you've been available to nurse for comfort as well as just for food.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR A YEAR, you can avoid the expense and bother of formula. Her one-year-old body can probably handle most of the table foods your family enjoys. Many of the health benefits this year of nursing has given your child will last her whole life. She will have a stronger immune system, for instance, and will be much less likely to need orthodontia or speech therapy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least a year, because it helps ensure normal nutrition and health for your baby.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 18 MONTHS, you will have continued to provide the nutrition, comfort, and illness protection your baby expects, at a time when illness is common in formula-fed babies. Your baby is probably well started on table foods, too. He has had time to form a solid bond with you - a healthy starting point for his growing independence. And he is old enough that you and he can work together on the weaning process, at a pace that he can handle. A former U.S. Surgeon General said, "it is the lucky baby... that nurses to age two."

IF YOUR CHILD WEANS WHEN SHE IS READY, you can feel confident that you have met your baby's physical and emotional needs in a very normal, healthy way. In cultures where there is no pressure to wean, children tend to nurse for at least two years. The World Health Organization and UNICEF strongly encourage breastfeeding through toddlerhood: "Breastmilk is an important source of energy and protein, and helps to protect against disease during the child's second year of life." Our biology seems geared to a weaning age of between 2 1/2 and 7 years, and it just makes sense to build our children's bones from the milk that was designed for them. Your milk provides antibodies and other protective substances for as long as you continue nursing, and families of nursing toddlers often find that their medical bills are lower than their neighbors' for years to come. Research indicates that the longer a child nurses, the higher his intelligence. Mothers who nurse longterm have a still lower risk of developing breast cancer. Children who were nursed longterm tend to be very secure, and are less likely to suck their thumbs or carry a blanket. Nursing can help ease both of you through the tears, tantrums, and tumbles that come with early childhood, and helps ensure that any illnesses are milder and easier to deal with. It's an all-purpose mothering tool you won't want to be without! Don't worry that your child will nurse forever. All children stop on their own, no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around than you might guess.

WHETHER YOU NURSE FOR A DAY OR FOR SEVERAL YEARS, the decision to nurse your child is one you need never regret. And whenever weaning takes place, remember that it is a big step for both of you. If you choose to wean before your child is ready, be sure to do it gradually, and with love

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

New milestone!!

Sean rolled over today!!! He was on his back and rolled on to his stomach and then back onto his back!!!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

3 Months

Sean's 3 month birthday was yesterday!! I just can't believe it. He's growing up so fast. It's somewhat sad but also somewhat exciting. I'm going to miss these baby days but it's so exciting when he learns something new. I few weeks ago he found his feet...couldn't keep his eyes off of them. lol Now when he's sitting he'll grab onto them. He can hold on to a rattle and shake it. He doesn't understand what he's doing yet though because he'll hit himself in the head. When laying in the play gym or standing in his exersaucer he'll swat at the toys. He even tries to reach the mobile on his swing. He loves to stand now...I guess that's why he loves his exersaucer. And the most shocking thing is he's teething already!!! He drools like crazy and will grab onto your hand and bring it to his mouth to chew on. He's getting to the point where he'll chew on one of his teethers and even hold it to his mouth for maybe a minute. It's so amazing watching a baby grow. I enjoy every minute of it. I just wish he would slow down...I don't what him to grow up so fast. We're going to get his 3 month pictures done this afternoon. I can't wait! I even made him a special diaper!! embellished prefold.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The greatest sound...

Peanut laughed for the first time today!!!!

And mom and I were the ones that got to witness it! ...Mom's actually the one that made him laugh.

About my baby

1. Ages:
~ 2 1/2 months

2. Name?
~ Sean

3. Birthday?
~ November 1, 2007

4. Time of birth?
~ 3:16 PM

5. How long did labor last?
~ About 15 hours

6. Who was in the room when baby was born?
~ DH, mom, MIL, doctor and a nurse

7. How long did you push?
~ 30 minutes

8. Weight?
~ 6 pounds 7 ounces

9. Length?
~ 18.5 inches

10. Any hair?
~ Yep, black

11. Who does the baby look like?
~ Some say DH, some say me, some say his Uncle Justin...I say me!

12. Be much weight did you gain while pregnant?
~ About 10 pounds :)

13. was the baby early or late?
~ 5 days early

14. Who drove you home from the hospital?

15. How many baby showers did you have?
~ One

16. When did baby start sleeping through the night?
~ He doesn't really sleep through the night yet but he only wakes up once or twice.

17. Did you breastfeed?
~ Of course, its free and best for you baby

18. Who keeps your baby the most?
~ I am with him 24/7

19. When do you want to have another one?
~ I think when Sean is about 1 or 2 years we'll be ready to try again, I wanna keep my kids close in age

20. How did you pick the name?
~ I liked the middle name, DH liked the first then we decided together the order.

21. anyone spend the night with you, your first night home?
~ No

22.Did you cry the first time you held your baby?
~ Yep! :)

23. Where was the baby born?
~ Chesapeake General

24. Did you video tape the birth?
~ No but we do have pictures

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Sick baby

Just as I had feared, Peanut has his first cold. B. and B. (nanny charges) have been sick with a virus and ear infections for the past week and a half. I washed and purelled my hands like crazy but Sean still got sick. He woke up with a nasty congested cough. I took him to the doctor and since he has a virus and no fever the doctor just said to run the humidifier, use Vicks and keep his head elevated to help with the drainage. I know he's fine but it kills me to see him not feeling good.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

2 Months old

Wow! I can't believe it! Sean turned 2 months old on Tuesday. He's now able to hold his head up very well for quite awhile. He loves tummy time and being held so he can see the world. He never stops moving...that why his developing a bald spot on the back of his head. lol He loves to smile and "talk". He even laughs in his sleep. He can sit in his bumbo seat and can roll over from his back to his side...he got to his belly once.

We took Sean to the doctors this afternoon for his 2 month well baby checkup. He is now 10 lbs 6 oz and 22.5 in long. The doctor said he's right about average. He's hitting all the milestones like he should too. The doctor said she could tell he was getting tummy time everyday because he didn't fuss when she put him on his belly and she was VERY impressed on how well he could hold his head up. He got his 2 month shots and did very well. He only fussed for a few moments...he did better than mommy.